As Bedlam Maternity launched on Friday, I've given one more chapter of the story. This is chapter 5. It will be removed after one week.
Interview with me about Bedlam Maternity HERE.
STRONG LANGUAGE WARNING: Street Urchins in London SWEAR. A lot.
It was a screaming night of
horrors. Friday night after the pubs were out, full moon, August, heat wave and
it hadn’t rained for several days. The hospital staff melted, the doors didn’t
stop bringing in alcohol sodden, blood-stained and fractious human beings set
on making sure someone else knew how miserable they were. Even maternity was
creaking at the sides and the temperature was unbearable. Even state of the art
PFI builds did not include air conditioning in the NHS (or was that especially…?).
Hot sticky babies wailed in the sweating, exasperated, and exhausted arms of
their mothers. The staff were run ragged, trying to keep their cool in all
aspects, before they too became part of the problem. Rose was swearing under
her breath constantly, about how few hands they had, and how much work: but
management never listened. There was never a shortage of managers who wouldn’t
listen.
There was no quiet lull at any
point that night, and at 4 a.m., Rose’s beeper told her to phone A&E. A
young woman, heavily pregnant, who appeared to be drunk, or stoned, and in
pain. She was refusing to give her name, and the police had brought her in,
worried for her safety. Rose went down herself with two orderlies to assess the
woman: please don’t let this be visited on her, this duty, this night.
It was, indeed, the person she had
feared it was: Omega. With a curse to the gods for doing this to her tonight of
all nights, Rose fixed a comforting smile on her face, and welcomed the street
waif.
‘Omega, I presume? How nice to meet
you, I’m Rose, one of the midwives.’ She nodded to the police officer who was
sitting in the cubicle, making sure Omega stayed put. ‘Thank you, Officer, are
there any charges, or can you go?’ PC Edwards, well-known to Rose, looked as
old as she felt that night. Sweat poured off him, under his knife jacket, and
he reeked of stale sweat, alcohol, and vomit. He nodded to Rose, and left
without speaking. Sometimes, you could just be too drained. Rose hoped he’d
manage a cup of tea before launching back out into the fray.
‘Of course there aren’t any
charges! Fucking bastard didn’t need to bring me in, didn’t need to threaten me
to get me assessed!’ Omega’s rant was interrupted by a scream, and she doubled
over her rippling stomach.
‘May I…?’ Rose asked kindly, and
with infinite courtesy, as if it wasn’t the middle of the night and endless
drunken vomiting and emergency stitching of eyes and cheekbones wasn’t taking
place in the cubicles all around her.
Omega nodded her consent, and Rose applied
gel onto her tummy, and then applied the probe. A few moments of trying to
catch the right spot, and then the baby’s heartbeat pulsed out of the monitor.
‘That seems fine.’
‘Of course it’s fucking fine. I told
the knob, didn’t I? It’s just Braxton Hicks.’ Omega doubled over again.
‘I’m not so sure, you know. May I?’
She again waited for Omega to nod consent, before attaching the bands over her
belly. Within a few moments, the wave pattern had started to appear on the read
outs.
‘You’re in labour, Omega.’
‘FUCK!’
Omega, as far as anyone knew, was
over twenty years old, but she looked twelve. She was tiny, half starved, and
looked like she’d walked out of a Dickens’s novel; if Dickens’ waifs had
rainbow coloured dread locks and nose and tongue piercings. She was feral, and
had been for at least three years, as that’s how long she’d been in the East
End. She spoke with a strong Glaswegian accent, but when asked, stated she came
from ‘Fuck you’re nosy, aren’t you?’ She’d been picked up by the police several
times, and nothing had ever been found out about her. She was intelligent, and
extremely pro-active in taking care of her ‘rights.’ When the police had tried
to have her put under a care order as even if they didn’t know who she was and
they felt she was a minor, she’d got a local legal group to defend her rights:
they couldn’t prove she was under eighteen, and her bone x-rays suggested she
was at least twenty. It was the first time the local authorities had found
themselves on the receiving end of a bone scan to prove age and they backed
off. Trying to claim she was illegal was a lost cause — she claimed no benefits
and there was nowhere to send her back to, unless they felt Glasgow could be
deemed an entry port by Borders Agency (something Rose would not put past
them.)
She had never been arrested, had no
record sheet: had no name. She moved from protest camp to commune to squat,
taking part in every street demo against everything there could be. She’d been
assessed as mentally competent, if belligerent to authority, and there was no
way of finding out her real identity. She was ‘Omega’ and when asked, she’d say
that was her name; she ‘always came fucking last.’
Omega had stayed out of everyone’s
reach until she’d fallen pregnant. Then Social Services had tried everything,
including trying to get a court order to make her undergo medical assessment. Omega
had blocked their attempts with her network of woman’s groups and legal
centres, but she had agreed to a full assessment on blood work and scan, etcetera,
when she was at about 30 weeks: purely to ‘get them to shut the fuck up.’ Maggie
Saro-Wiwa, who had been the attending midwife, had stated to all her lead team
members that she was sure Omega had simply wanted to know the sex of her baby.
The baby was fine. Omega did not
have HIV or any other nasty in her blood. ‘I’m not fucking stupid, I never
shared,’ and whilst she did have a remarkable series of both injection marks
and self harming scars (her left arm was a tapestry of healed over horizontal
slits that looked like it should be on display at the Tate) she had never
presented with fresh self harm, or either drug or alcohol problems to the
authorities. Wherever Omega had escaped from, she’d made a clean break and
nothing could ever be traced.
The pregnancy had sent the local
authorities into a frenzy. The baby was fine, she was clean and clear: there
was nothing they could do until she birthed. She’d refused all help to
‘transition’ her into a mother and baby unit, or a flat of her own. To do that,
she’d need an identity and she wasn’t going to give up her ‘freedom’. But she
knew she was on an inevitable outcome with the baby. The second it was born… the
baby was gone. Every maternity unit in Greater London had a briefing on Omega
by Social Services. The second she presented in labour at any GP or hospital,
or the second she was seen with a baby, Social Services had to be called. The
police would be ten seconds behind. Bethlehem Maternity had been deemed the
most obvious place she’d end up, given her usual haunts, and that’s where she’d
had her agreed scan (with a human rights lawyer in the room with her). The file
was upstairs, and every team had been briefed personally by Maggie. Rose knew
PC Edwards would have already contacted Social Services.
They arrived about twenty minutes
later, when Rose and Omega were talking through whether this was a real labour,
or a false start. Rose was pretty persuaded that Omega was in the first stage
of true labour. Omega was of the opinion that this meant nothing, and even if
she was, this could go on for two days or more like this. Rose had to agree. Social
Services weren’t stupid enough to try and speak to Omega, they sent another
nurse in to fetch Rose out. Rose had to tell them they weren’t sure if they
were admitting Omega yet, and observed the weary-eyed look of the poor sod
who’d pulled this shift. His name was Tim and he was actually quite nice and
not at all dim. Tim went off to start the phone calls.
By the time Rose had returned to
Omega, her human rights lawyer had phoned through. Rose, Omega, and the lawyer,
a woman named Marsha, had a nice chat on the phone, during which time Maggie
Saro-Wiwa arrived, shaking the sleep out of her eyes. Omega actually said hello
to Maggie, and winked.
The drama unfolded without any
mistakes: after all, everyone had rehearsed their lines for weeks.
Marsha arrived with the morning
sun, to find that Maggie and Rose had persuaded Omega up to maternity, to an
empty side room, and were sitting talking to her whilst every one drank tea. Omega
didn’t argue by this time that she was in real labour. Freed from the
constraints of the cubicle, she was walking up and down the room, resting now
and then as she controlled her breathing. Rose was relieved to see her relax
herself into the dance of the labour. Everything about her actions belied the
scarecrow, disorganised, and scattered nature of her appearance.
They quickly filled Marsha in. No,
Omega had not agreed to being admitted, but had been happy to pace about in the
room as long as she was brought tea and food. Marsha had smiled at this, and
looked over to Omega.
‘Yeah, I fucking told them. They
ain’t gonna tell me what to do, and starve me into submission.’
Omega had made her feelings about
medicalised birth, and bossy mares telling her she couldn’t eat or drink during
labour, quite clear. It was also clear Omega knew what normal procedure was and
was ensuring she stayed in labour, her way. ‘I ain’t fucking well being laid
down on my back and strapped to a fucking machine.’
Maggie had agreed to all her
demands, just to get her to stay. Marsha joined them for tea and toast, which
only Omega and Marsha could eat, as Maggie or Rose would be sacked if they were
found to be eating or drinking from the supplies left for the patients. Rose
had gone to the staff room and returned with two mugs for her and Maggie as a
way of sharing the space with Omega. Dr Khan, the OB registrar, was hovering
outside in an anxious state of feeling too junior to take the flak and
inexplicable gratitude that he’d been banned from going anywhere near Omega by
dint of being both a doctor and a male. The consultants would arrive for clinic
in an hour or so anyway. He was double, triple, and quadruple guessing his own
decision not to call someone in on the basis that Omega wasn’t actually that
near delivering, and hadn’t been admitted. Rose felt sorry for him: this really
was more bite than the young man knew how to chew.
Marsha had, it transpired, a
prepared speech. If Omega was genuinely in labour, she would accept admittance
into the ward, but only on her own terms, and only when she wanted to. Marsha
and Omega had talked it through thoroughly, and Marsha explained it to the two
midwives that Omega knew she would have to birth with someone official there.
‘In case something isn’t right. I
want my baby to be well.’
But she didn’t want doctors, fuss,
or medicines. She would accept the presence of a female midwife, as long as the
midwife did as she, Omega, instructed her. As long as the midwife ‘left her the
fuck alone.’ She just wanted to be in charge of her own body, and then birth on
her own, if it was possible.
‘I know they’re gonna take her. I
don’t mind that. I just want to birth her my way, and give her the best start. I’ve
taken care of her these past few months, and I want her to be free and happy
when she goes. I don’t want no fucking doctors sticking things up me, or
pulling her about. I wanna give her a good start. But I ain’t fucking stupid. I’d
go birth in the woods if I could, but I won’t risk it. Just in case summit
happens to me, an’ she’s left alone. I don’t want that for her. They’d hound me
if I didn’t come in, so this way, I decide.’
There wasn’t anything to be said on
that, as Omega was correct. No one could force admit her, no one could make her
accept treatment, and all hell would break loose if she did try to birth on her
own. This was uncomfortable for the hospital, but it was the most sensible way
for Omega to get what she wanted. Marsha was also a great help: every time
Omega went overboard in screaming about hospitals and their abuses, and how
they couldn’t control her, Marsha would let out just a bit more detail on the
substantial planning for the birth.
‘Omega was offered a private
midwife, paid for by a contributor to the law centre. She refused.’
‘Damn right I refused. This is my
body and my BIRTH. Fuck you if you think otherwise. I ain’t being fobbed off by
some controlling git with charity. I don’t take nothin’ from no one, even a well-meaning
smug middle class bitch.’
Rose was pretty sure Marsha was the
well-meaning smug middle class bitch.
It was also Rose’s personal
assessment that Omega had birthed before, and it hadn’t been good. Maggie
agreed with her when they discussed it afterwards. They’d both seen birth
trauma this profound before: quite often, sadly. It had just never presented as
it did in the surprising package that was Omega. Rose wondered if Omega was
agreeing to birth in a hospital, her way, as a final up yours to the system, just as she’d come in with PC Edwards when
she knew she didn’t have to. Everyone, hospital, police, Social Services were
dancing to her tune: it was a powerful amount of control she was exerting. Control
that would end the second the baby arrived. Until the baby was born she could
call the shots and she was certainly taking advantage of it.
Maggie and Rose drew up a care plan
for Omega that specifically stated that not a single person could touch Omega,
or speak to her, unless it was a medical emergency and she was unconscious. Omega announced she was leaving now, and
would come back, when she was nearer birth. Maggie had blanched, but Marsha had
been kind and said, ‘We have places set up for her, near here, where she can be
with others as she labours.’ Omega said it rather more baldly.
‘I don’t fucking care what you
fucking want. It’s my body and YOU don’t get to tell me what to do with it.
It’s bad enough you’ll fucking take my baby, you ain’t taking me, too! And no
fucking doctor is gonna rape me with his hands and fucking probes when I tell
him to fuck off and you bitches hold me down.’ She’d stabbed her finger in the
air at Maggie. Maggie had flushed a little then looked away, giving the ground
to Omega.
‘We’ll walk you to the door,
Omega.’
For a fleeting second, Omega looked
embarrassed that she’d shouted at her. Then the hard street face was put back
on.
Omega elected to leave the unit by
the stairs, which as she was actively labouring, was a good, wise choice. All
the windows were open full, and as they descended down, there was a feeling of
moving in and out of cooler patches. Rose and Maggie and Marsha walked her
down, and then Marsha took her on out through the main door. They watched them
walk down the street, stopping now and then, when Omega’s body pulsed, then
setting off again.
Behind them, Tim the social worker,
who had been forbidden by Marsha to even see Omega, never mind speak to her, on
pain of an assault charge, was kicking a chair.
‘There’s a fine for damaging
hospital property, you know.’ It was PC Edwards, who had obviously stayed to
see it out. Either that, or had been told to stay, since he’d ‘persuaded’ her
in.
‘It’s just WRONG!’ A punch flew
into a wall. Tim was also suffering from the heat, clearly. Even now, in the
early hours of the day, it felt like they were living in a sweaty armpit.
‘It’s her body, Tim.’ Rose knew the
words would be wasted, but said them anyway.
‘As if the baby has no rights.’ His
disgust was evident to all.
Maggie patted him on the back. ‘Come
on, let’s get you some tea, I think she has hours to go.’
Rose went back up to the unit to
write everything up and do the hand-over to the next shift. With luck, she’d be
off duty when Omega returned, and the poisoned chalice would have passed her by
this time. She was so drained she took a bus home, washing all the sweat and
grit and worry off her body in a long, cool shower before falling into bed.
She was so groggy when she woke up.
She decided to bus it back up for the shift turn. Strange, she could make it in
the freezing rain and snow, but a heat wave knocked her out: she was getting
old. The bus was cloying and sweaty in the searing afternoon heat. Thank
goodness she was on nights.
Reception was busy as she strolled
through, nodding hello to people as she passed. A woman in hijab was standing
in the middle of the lobby area, Rose sent her a smile as she passed. Then
stopped dead, ice sliding down her spine. As she turned back, the woman was
gone. Ordering the hairs all over her body to lie back down, Rose rushed over
to the back stairwell, and pushed through the double doors. On the other side,
alone, she collected her breath and her wits. Footsteps coming down towards her
made her move up. She passed an orderly, made it to her locker, and sat down. It
wasn’t so much that she thought she was wrong, it was that she knew, she felt, that she wasn’t.
The hand-over went smoothly enough,
with enough work to keep Rose too busy to dwell on too much worry. She felt as
if someone was dancing on her grave. In terms of work, she’d hoped to find
Omega had returned, birthed, and was gone, but it was not to be. Maggie, who
was refusing to leave until it was all over, had tried to get some sleep in her
office, but the heat was making it impossible. She set herself to sorting out
her files instead. Rose popped in on her every couple of hours, and they both
fed each other tea. Rose had started the conversation about Shafiah a dozen
times, but had trailed off into other areas. She found Maggie asleep on a staff
couch at about 2 a.m., and slipped a light sheet over her.
Dawn brought the usual increase in
admissions, and Omega. She was very close to birth, and she needed two friends
to help her into the unit. She was red, sweating, and grunting, but clearly in
that zoned out state of acceptance and anticipation that made all midwives marvel
when they saw it. Rose sent an orderly for Maggie, and told the admissions
people to phone Social Services. Tim would surely be delighted that he was back
on shift for this one. Almost as delighted as Dr Khan, who went off to wake up
Dr Howard. Eileen Howard was the senior consultant who had undertaken Omega’s
screening, and had worked both with the hospital’s legal team, and Marsha, for
weeks. Rose reckoned Dr Howard was swallowing the most bitter of the pills currently
being fed them all.
They moved Omega into a birthing
unit, where she stripped naked apart from a multi coloured scarf on her head to
hold up her dreadlocks. Her body showed the ravages of abuse on several levels.
All the equipment stood to one side, utterly useless, as Omega continued to
walk, move, groan, squat, and at times, get on her hands and knees. She did use
the birthing ball.
‘I’d have preferred a fucking pool,
you know.’
No way was Omega going to control
them to that extent, and she knew it.
It was odd, Rose observed, or was
it telling? Omega never swore at the baby, or her own body, just the others. If
anything, she was talking to both the baby, and her body, in low and gentle
tones.
Her birth companions were taking
duty in the room in shifts. Although the term ‘birth companion’ was a bit of a
misnomer: they weren’t helping Omega at all. They were, however, writing down
every word the staff spoke, and no doubt everything they did. Rose watched the
clock, and saw her shift come to an end. Great, this cup would pass her by. She
stood, from where she’d been writing notes, to announce to the others she would
leave when Maggie returned from the hand-over with Lucy Manning.
Shafiah was standing beside Omega,
who was squatting on the floor. She was looking straight at Rose.
Rose turned and sat down so quickly
she felt dizzy. The helper, Jazz, looked up at her, and then wrote something
down. Omega was in her own birthing zone and didn’t appear to notice. Rose
concentrated on her breathing. She would get it under control. A gentle knock
preceded the door opening, and Rose felt she must have leaped two feet in the
air, but no one seemed to have noticed. The shock of who came in covered the
shock of Shafiah’s appearance.
Maggie came in first, followed by
Dr Fiona Gray, in midwife blue. She had a name badge that simply said ‘Fiona.’ Maggie
was breezing through the ‘we have a changeover’ routine; assuring Omega and her
helper, that she, Maggie, would be staying. ‘Fiona’ came over and picked up the
pen from Rose, and jotted down the time she and Maggie had arrived. Rose found
herself talking to Omega, with no idea of what she was doing, or saying, or
why.
‘You’re very close, Omega, and my
shift has changed. May I stay? I’d like to.’
Maggie, ‘Fiona,’ and Jazz all shot
Rose a look. Rose doubted she’d ever felt so exposed, so vulnerable, given all
the circumstances. She dreaded being told to fuck off, and then having to leave
the room to face Tim and the police.
Omega just shrugged. ‘Sure. Save
you telling tales to the filth outside.’
Jazz laughed and the tension broke.
Rose moved across the room, to sit nearby Jazz, and Maggie continued to watch
the labour actively, as Rose had been doing. ‘Fiona’ kept the official notes
going.
Omega, on all fours, started a low
moaning. The upcoming shriek was clearly signalling what Rose, Maggie, and Jazz
could see: the baby was crowning. Maggie picked up a clean towel, and got down
on the floor on her knees.
‘As I said, Omega, as soon as she’s
free, I’ll take her outside. You are ready for that, aren’t you…?’ Rose felt
every stomach muscle she had clench. Sweat popped out on her brow. Beside her,
Jazz was enthralled by what she was viewing, and had stopped writing.
A birthing scream broke the air in
triumph, the baby’s head popped out. Maggie placed the towel underneath. Omega
slumped forward onto her elbows.
‘That’s it, girl, one more push.’
Omega pushed her daughter into the
air, and the gentle receiving hands of Maggie supported the perfect, white-coated
bundle of life. The baby had a shock of dark hair. Maggie pulled the baby to
one side as Dr Gray clamped and cut the cord. Rose moved forward, and Dr Gray
stood up. Maggie handed the baby over to Dr Gray, who left the room, Rose
having opened the door for her. Jazz, shocked, sounded out a sudden ‘Oh!’
Rose turned to her. ‘I’m sorry,
there isn’t another way.’
‘But can’t she even hold the baby…?’
Jazz’s face drained of colour and tears formed in her eyes.
‘No, I fucking can’t.’ Omega was
still on her knees, but had lifted her head up. ‘Told you the bastards would.’
Jazz shook her head, and then
looked at her watch, and carried on observing.
Maggie asked Omega if she wanted
the injection that would help expel the placenta, Omega told her to ‘fuck right
off’ but did say she was dying for a drag. As she turned over onto her back, a
wonderful cry of life shattered the air in the corridor outside. Omega looked
up at Maggie, tears flooding out of her eyes.
‘Please, could you go see she is
all right?’
Maggie nodded, and left, cleaning
her hands. Rose sat down on the floor beside Omega and they both awaited the
placenta’s pleasure.
Jazz had brought Omega a glass of
water, and then gone out, just as Fran, the other helper, came back in. Maggie
came back after about ten minutes.
‘She’s wonderful, Omega. Happy,
healthy, hearty, and protesting her treatment loudly.’
Omega laughed. ‘That’s my fucking
girl, go get them.’ Then she broke down in tearing sobs. Jazz came over to
attempt to give her a hug, but Omega sent her off with a ‘Fucking leave me
alone and write your notes.’
Omega cried, loudly, quietly,
silently at times, as they all sat on the floor, waiting. The placenta passed
about 25 minutes after the baby, and was intact.
Maggie asked if they had permission
to examine it, and her.
‘You can fuck right off. I’m taking
that with me. Jazz!’ Jazz put forward a large Ziploc bag, and Maggie and she
slipped the warm placenta into it, then left it aside in a surgical bowl to
cool.
Omega did ask for help to get up
onto the bed, and for a cup of tea. Maggie and Rose got her settled, and Maggie
went off for tea and toast. Rose sat quietly. Omega cried but would still
accept no comfort. When snot was stringing down her face, Rose handed her a
clean towel. Omega took it, and buried her head for a few moments, then threw it
on the floor with all her strength. Then she burst out wailing again.
‘She’s gonna be okay, isn’t she…?’ Rose
was surprised to find Omega was addressing her.
‘No reason why not.’
Omega nodded. ‘No, no reason. She
sounded healthy enough.’ Her sobs started up again.
Another knock, the door opening
gently. It was Marsha. Rose stood up to go, and Omega’s hand shot out and
grabbed her arm.
‘No, please, stay.’
Rose nodded, and sat back down. Jazz
and Fran got up and left, leaving Marsha to talk to Omega. Marsha held
paperwork in her hand.
‘They have full care, as we knew
would happen. I have the paperwork, it was biked round from the judge’s home. It’s
all in order, they even spelled her name correctly.’ There was a wry smile as
such paperwork was usually quite haphazard. Not this time. ‘They do want to
speak to you, but I told them you didn’t want that. Is that still your wish?’
Omega nodded, which allowed Marsha
to leave and send Social Services away.
Maggie brought in a tray of jam and
toast. Rose slathered some for Omega and handed it to her. Omega couldn’t eat
for tears. Rose took a risk and touched Omega’s arm, gently. Omega turned and
buried herself into Rose’s shoulder. Maggie busied herself with paperwork; it’s
not as if there was anything else to do.
Omega sobbed, and sobbed, and
sobbed. Rose held her, gently, finally lifting her free hand up to rub down the
young mother’s back. After what seemed like hours, but was probably no more
than thirty minutes, Omega sat back, exhausted. The tears subsided. Maggie
handed her a mug of tea with three sugars in it, and she and Rose tidied the
bed. Omega was bleeding freely onto the sheets, and they covered her with a
clean sheet. Then they sat down, and waited.
It took about an hour, but Omega
finally started to talk. Marsha had come in and gone, and Fran and Jazz had
been dismissed. Rose, who was now off duty for three days, had agreed to stay
and help Omega get dressed when she wanted to leave. Marsha left and Maggie
stayed. No member of staff could be left alone with Omega: it just was.
Omega’s story was by no means
unusual, or coherent, and all Maggie and Rose really got clear was that last
time, when the Social Services had stood in the corridor, Omega had not had a
‘good birthing experience’ as the text books put it. The baby, in addition, had
been stillborn, which Omega knew was her fault, due to ‘her being the worst
fucking person in the world.’ It was clear that Omega had been in care at the
time, and Social Services had been involved with her for years. They nodded,
and listened, both lost in a parade of memories of similar births they had
attended.
Omega said the moment the doctor
stitched her tear back up without using an anaesthetic to punish her for her
son dying, was the moment it made sense.
‘I knew why it had happened, and I
knew what I needed to do. I needed to get free, utterly free.’ And so she’d
left the hospital, and her name, and her life, behind.
By the end of the tale, Omega was
shaking with exhaustion. Rose sat with her as she napped, and Maggie went off
to make sure everyone knew she was still in the unit, not to be disturbed, and
that Marsha was fully informed and happy with Omega’s treatment.
Rose felt her own exhaustion and
hunger, but ignored them. Even without Shafiah’s appearance, Rose would have
felt it was important for someone to stand watch over this fragile, broken
young woman. The good thing about Omega letting go her story, and her tears,
was that she was being observed post-birth: all looked well. Her colour was
good, she was eating and drinking well, and had been to the loo.
About five hours after the baby had
been born, Omega woke from her nap, and asked Rose to send for Marsha. When
Marsha arrived, Omega looked her straight in her eyes and said ‘I want to see
my baby. I want to raise my daughter. Tell me how I can make that happen.’
Rose went home by taxi, exhausted
but hopeful. Omega had taken Marsha’s expert advice to heart and had started by
allowing the hospital to do a full medical on her. When Rose left in the late
afternoon, Omega had been admitted properly and was sleeping after having
accepted some pain relief. She’d given Marsha her full name and date of birth,
and Marsha had gone off to find her records and prepare a case for Social Services
to put together a care plan that would allow Omega access to the baby, whom
she’d named Storm.
Rose knew the odds of the young
women (who’d told Marsha she was going to stay ‘Omega’ and she needed a deed
poll for her name change asap) ever getting her baby back fully were poor to
non-existent. But Rose believed in miracles, and had seen one or two of them in
her years. Perhaps this was one. Regardless, she had a chance, and in this
life, you took the chances you could and prayed.
After she phoned through to Tommy,
and said she’d be round next afternoon to catch him up on something, she fell
gratefully into her bed, and slept the sleep of the exhausted, as best she
could in the heat.
Her sleep was disturbed before she
was ready, in the early morning light. Someone was banging on her front door. As
Rose staggered down the stairs, trying to pull herself out of the quicksand,
the thought that Shafiah was on the other side of the door froze her solid. The
banging carried on and she shook herself out of it: as if ghosts could bang on
doors.
When she opened the door and saw who stood
there, and the awful grey tinge to her skin, the bloodshot shock in her eyes,
Rose knew what happened. Maggie Saro-Wiwa didn’t need to speak. Rose knew in
her bones that Omega was dead
