Fiction: the scary stories and unsettling tales of a modern horror writer
The Dreyfuss Trilogy
Changeling * Lucifer's Stepdaughter * Moonchild
B. More compellingAlison
Morgan, much improved! (B I mean). I still think you may be breaking one of the rules of thumb with the "compelling and unique" line, and since I think you do a nice job of hinting at the adult nature of the story in the preceding section, I don't think you need it. When I read the blurb, I figure the book is going to have some bdsm elements from the way you describe Dreyfuss's treatment of Joanne. That does the trick for a) categorizing its content as adult and b) distinguishing it from Twilight!
I did it totally spare: Changeling is the first novel in the Dreyfuss Trilogy. And my editing team wasn't sure. I'll see how it goes on final attempt.After a lot of discussion, the problem with B is that it is too much centred on Dreyfuss, and pushed Jo's voice out. So I need to blend that back in.I'm stepping out of it for a day or two, and will come back to it and have it sorted by the end of the week. I'm so ready to sign it off, and say 'done'! And I want the to print up and running as close to April 10th as can be managed.Thank you, again, for your feedback. It really did nearly kill me, forcing that out of my brain. :-)